A COVID-19 Reflection: School Buses and Gratitude

Jennifer Brooks-Mason

As a working mother, the image of a school bus elicits a flood of emotion — relief, joy, exhaustion, and most poignantly in these extraordinary times, gratitude.

Prior to March 2020, school buses brought to mind the ceaseless shuttling of children to different schools with different schedules and, later, to different extracurricular activities that consumed our days. And then there were the moments stuck behind school buses, a reminder of the unending delays in my daily rhythm of career, parenting, and attempts at self-care.

After March 2020, school buses were among the many things I sorely missed — a vestige of social interaction, routine, and an ecosystem of support that made people like me able to (sort of) manage it all.

When I put my daughter on a school bus a few weeks ago for the first time in more than a year, the emotion took me by surprise. I was joyful for some normalcy, and eagerly awaited dinner table conversation replete with first day adventures, old friends reunited, and stories of teachers with just a bit too much zeal to cut through teen apathy.

I was also quieted by my own reflections. How had we managed to survive — sometimes thrive — in these extraordinary circumstances?

To be frank, I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept through a single night since the pandemic began. Mentally, emotionally, and professionally, I’m spent. Every day, we’ve been challenged with a new set of balls to juggle atop an old set of balls to juggle. Being in healthcare only heightens the intensity, although I consider myself more of a stage manager than a frontline actor. Nevertheless, partnering with clinicians and support staff across the healthcare continuum, we all play a part in the work of healing — seamlessly, stressfully, creatively, and in spite of our own private fatigue that we try so hard to hide.

I’m also grateful.

My team showed kindness when I took calls from the road or when deadlines were missed. My company was flexible when I had to take calls from the road because there were no school busses running. And somewhere in the midst of it all, I rediscovered my passion for the work of and people in a profession called to show love.

Tomorrow, I’ll again send my children off to school in that bright yellow beacon that holds so much promise — and summons so much gratitude.

Jennifer Brooks-Mason is the Vice President of Digital Strategy at SCAN Health Plan. She is also a Fellow in The Carol Emmott Foundation Fellowship Class of 2021.